Drawing me close

It’s said that God uses difficult situations to draw you close. And if you’re a believer, you will also think of Job and how God allowed the devil to try him using difficult situations. These two ideas are part of what keeps circulating in my mind these past few days.

After my dad died last year, I spent a lot of time away from my relationship with God. Actually, even a little before that. I was feeling disillusioned at church. Nothing seemed the same as it did. I had the feeling that it was time for me to move to a new church. Get lost in a crowd so I could just sit and get fed, versus serving and never receiving any Word. Or so that’s what I thought I needed to do.

It’s half a year later and my husband and I are still searching. No, I take that back. It’s half a year later and we are still sitting on our butts, choosing to do something other than reconnect with God completely. It’s not that we have totally stepped away, but we are living our lives in both worlds. We are luke warm. Our own pleasures have taken the place of godly pursuits.

It’s clearly not enough to give just part of yourself to God to have a peaceful life, knowing that he will take care of you through the highs and through the lows. It has to be a relationship. It has to be a desire. A commitment to put God first. For some, like us, I think it also has to do with companionship – something that we, I, desperately need and would probably find if we plugged back into a church.

Maybe this is my difficult situation drawing me close.