I wish I was writing a post about more photos or jewelry or some nifty little trinket I found this week. Unfortunately, this is just me getting my frustrations out about this whole sleep training thing.
You guys know I’m no stranger to issues of the female kind. Well, ever since baby girl’s birth, my body just hasn’t been the same. (Not an unusual complaint, I know.) But I don’t mean on the outside, but the inside. My immune system seems a bit shot. It’s wrecking havoc with one of my exams and until it comes back normal, I can’t get life insurance.
I really need life insurance for my peace of mind. I don’t want to leave Jason in the situation my dad left my mom. Especially with baby girl around. If something were to happen to me, I just want Jason to have an “easy” button to push. Everyone should have time to grieve without having to worry about bills. I know, I know… a bit morbid, but it’s just how I feel.
After a conversation with one of the midwives, I decided it was time to kick my immune system into high gear to see if I can’t get this test to come back normal so I can get life insurance. One of the things she mentioned was making sure I was getting enough sleep.
Sleep? What’s that? I have a beautiful 1 year old toddler who is just not sleeping through the night. Sleep and I parted ways 2 years ago and have yet to meet again. Which is where the sleep training has now come in.
Sadly, we’ve tried all the no-cry solutions with no good results which has landed baby girl in our bed. Now, we don’t mind co-sleeping at all. Don’t get me wrong… if baby girl were sleeping through the night with no wakings, I would not be writing this blog post. But she’s not. She’s regressing and lately has been waking up to 6 times a night. Jason can easily fall asleep after the wakings. Me? Once I’m up, it takes me a while to get back down.
Hence, welcome to our first night of “cry it out” sleep training. It took me an hour to get her down to sleep tonight even after I got her good and drowsy. (It was like she knew what was coming and decided to fight it from the start!)
Four hours later, she’s up again and I’m on round 2 of the fight. 1 1/2 hours into it and she is still crying. I’m going in at the 10 minute intervals at this point, but it is breaking my heart to listen to her. I can calm her down, get her to lay down, but when I start to walk away, she just lets loose. I just want desperately to go pick her up in my arms and bring her to bed so we can all get some sleep… well, everyone but me. In another few hours, she would just be up again and so would I. Mission un-accomplished.
Now, this is the part where you talk to me. Most people fall into two camps: the “it’s-okay-cry-it-out-sleep-training-works” and the “oh-my-gosh-you-are-such-a-horrible-mother-for-letting-your-baby-cry-it-out”. I hope you’re in the former, ’cause this is only day one… not even complete yet… and I could really use some encouragement.